On Writing—All Characters Have Flaws

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Character Flaws

What is a character flaw exactly? It’s a limitation, imperfection, problem, or phobia in someone who for all intents and purposes is a functional human being (some of my in-laws I would not classify as functional). Everyone has them, and so should your characters so that they become real people to your readers. The flaws can be glaring, like being so selfish that it makes Ebeneezer Scrooge nod with admiration, or it can be something simple, like being dishonest by telling little white lies.

Below is a list of character flaws that I found on the Internet (I love Google).

• Absentminded- Preoccupied to the extent of being unaware of one’s immediate surroundings. Abstracted, daydreaming, inattentive, oblivious, forgetful.
• Abusive- Characterized by improper infliction of physical or psychological maltreatment towards another.
• Alcoholic- A person who drinks alcoholic substances habitually and to excess or who suffers from alcoholism.
• Addict- One who is addicted, as to narcotics or a compulsive activity. (gambling, drugs, sex, etc. List specific addiction.)
• Aimless- Devoid of direction or purpose.
• Anxious- Full of mental distress or uneasiness because of fear of danger or misfortune; greatly worried; solicitous.
• Arrogant- Having or displaying a sense of overbearing self-worth or self-importance. Inclined to social exclusiveness and who rebuff the advances of people considered inferior. Snobbish.
• Audacious- Recklessly bold in defiance of convention, propriety, law, or the like; insolent; braze, disobedient.
• Bigmouth- A loudmouthed or gossipy person.
• Bigot- One who is strongly partial to one’s own group, religion, race, or politics and is intolerant of those who differ.
• Blunt- Characterized by directness in manner or speech; without subtlety or evasion. Frank, callous, insensitive, brusque.
• Bold- In a bad sense, too forward; taking undue liberties; over assuming or confident; lacking proper modesty or restraint; rude; impudent. Abrupt, brazen, cheeky, brassy, audacious.
• Callous- They are hardened to emotions, rarely showing any form of it in expression. Unfeeling. Cold.
• Childish- Marked by or indicating a lack of maturity; puerile.
• Complex- An exaggerated or obsessive concern or fear. (List specific complex.)
• Cruel- Mean to anyone or anything, without care or regard to consequences and feelings.
• Cursed- A person who has befallen a prayer for evil or misfortune, placed under a spell, or borne into an evil circumstance, and suffers for it. Damned.
• Dependent- Unable to exist, sustain oneself, or act appropriately or normally without the assistance or direction of another.
• Deranged- Mentally decayed. Insane. Crazy. Mad. Psychotic.
• Disloyal- Lacking loyalty. Unfaithful, perfidious, traitorous, treasonable
• Disability- A disadvantage or deficiency, especially a physical or mental impairment that interferes with or prevents normal achievement in a particular area. (List the disability or disabilities. Exp blind, missing limbs, deaf, color blind, no sense of smell, etc)
• Disorder- An ailment that affects the function of mind or body. (List the disorders name if they have one.) Mental Disorder List.
• Disturbed- Showing some or a few signs or symptoms of mental or emotional illness. Confused, disordered, neurotic, troubled.
• Dubious- Fraught with uncertainty or doubt. Undecided, doubtful, unsure.
• Dyslexic- Affected by dyslexia, a learning disorder marked by impairment of the ability to recognize and comprehend written words.
• Egotistical- Characteristic of those having an inflated idea of their own importance. Boastful, pompous.
• Envious- Showing extreme cupidity; painfully desirous of another’s advantages; covetous, jealous.
• Erratic- Deviating from the customary course in conduct or opinion; eccentric: erratic behavior. Eccentric, bizarre, outlandish, strange.
• Fanaticism- Fanatic outlook or behavior especially as exhibited by excessive enthusiasm, unreasoning zeal, or wild and extravagant notions on some subject.
• Fickle- Characterized by erratic changeableness or instability, especially with regard to affections or attachments; capricious.
• Fierce- Marked by extreme intensity of emotions or convictions; inclined to react violently; fervid; “fierce loyalty”; “in a tearing rage”; “vehement dislike”; “violent passions”.
• Finicky- Excessively particular or fastidious; difficult to please; fussy. Too much concerned with detail. Meticulous, fastidious, choosy, critical, picky, prissy, persnickety.
• Fixation- In psychoanalytic theory, a strong attachment to a person or thing, especially such an attachment formed in childhood or infancy and manifested in immature or neurotic behavior that persists throughout life. Fetish, quirk, obsession, infatuation.
• Flirt-To make playfully romantic or sexual overtures; behavior intended to arouse sexual interest. Minx. Tease.
• Fools Love- A person who is always falling in love or believes they are in love, for the wrong person or even multiple people (usually one after another), and typically love at first sight. Star-crossed, ill-fated-love.
• Frail- Physically weak and easily broken or damaged. Having delicate health; not robust. Feeble, breakable, sickly, dainty, brittle, fallible, imperfect, weak.
• Fraudulent- Given to or using fraud, as a person; cheating; dishonest. Deceitful, deceptive, crooked, underhanded.
• Gluttonous- Given to excess in consumption of especially food or drink. Voracious, ravenous, wolfish, piggish, insatiable.
• Gruff-Brusque or stern in manner or appearance. Crusty, rough, surly.
• Gullible- Will believe any information given, regardless of how valid or truthful it is, easily deceived or duped.
• Habit- A rather revolting personal habit. (List habit- picks nose, spits tobacco everywhere, drools profusely, bad body odor, etc.)
• Hard- A person who is difficult to deal with, manage, control, overcome, or understand. Hard emotions, hard hearted.
• Hedonistic- Pursuit of or devotion to pleasure, especially to the pleasures of the senses.
• Hoity-toity- Given to flights of fancy; capricious; frivolous. Prone to giddy behavior, flighty.
• Humorless- The inability to find humor in things, and most certainly in themselves.
• Hypocritical- One who is always contradicting their own beliefs, actions or sayings. A person who professes beliefs and opinions for others that he does not hold. Being a hypocrite.
• Idealist- One whose conduct is influenced by ideals that often conflict with practical considerations. One who is unrealistic and impractical, guided more by ideals than by practical considerations.
• Idiotic- Marked by a lack of intelligence or care; foolish or careless.
• Ignorant- Lacking knowledge or information as to a particular subject or fact. Showing or arising from a lack of education or knowledge.
• Illiterate- Unable to read and write.
• Impatient- Unable to wait patiently or tolerate delay; restless. Unable to endure irritation or opposition; intolerant.
• Impious- Lacking piety and reverence for a god/gods and their followers.
• Incompetent- Unable to execute tasks, no matter how the size or difficulty.
• Indecisive- Characterized by lack of decision and firmness, especially under pressure.
• Indifferent- The trait of lacking enthusiasm for or interest in things generally, remaining calm and seeming not to care; a casual lack of concern. Having or showing little or no interest in anything; languid; spiritless.
• Infamy- Having an extremely bad reputation, public reproach, or strong condemnation as the result of a shameful, criminal, or outrageous act that affects how others view them.
• Intolerant- Unwilling to tolerate difference of opinion and narrow-minded about cherished opinions.
• Immature- Emotionally undeveloped; juvenile; childish.
• Impish- Naughtily or annoyingly playful.
• Judgmental- Inclined to make and form judgments, especially moral or personal ones, based on ones own opinions or impressions towards others/practices/groups/religions based on appearance, reputation, occupation, etc.
• Klutz- Clumsy. Blunderer.
• Lazy- Resistant to work or exertion; disposed to idleness.
• Lewd- Inclined to, characterized by, or inciting to lust or lechery; lascivious. Obscene or indecent, as language or songs; salacious.
• Liar- Compulsively and purposefully tells false truths more often than not. A person who has lied or who lies repeatedly.
• Lustful- Driven by lust; preoccupied with or exhibiting lustful desires.
• Masochist- The deriving of sexual gratification, or the tendency to derive sexual gratification, from being physically or emotionally abused. A willingness or tendency to subject oneself to unpleasant or trying experiences.
• Meddlesome- Intrusive in a meddling or offensive manner, given to meddling; interfering.
• Meek- Evidencing little spirit or courage; overly submissive or compliant; humble in spirit or manner; suggesting retiring mildness or even cowed submissiveness.
• Megalomaniac- A psycho pathological condition characterized by delusional fantasies of wealth, power, or omnipotence.
• Murderer- One guilty of murder; a person who unlawfully kills a human being. Killer, butchered, cutthroat.
• Naive- Lacking worldly experience and understanding, simple and guileless; showing or characterized by a lack of sophistication and critical judgment.
• Nervous- Easily agitated or distressed; high-strung or jumpy.
• Nonviolent- Abstaining from the use of violence. (can double as a merit)
• Nosey- Given to prying into the affairs of others; snoopy. Offensively curious or inquisitive.
• Obsessive- An unhealthy and compulsive preoccupation with something or someone.
• Oppressor- A person of authority who subjects others to undue pressures, to keep down by severe and unjust use of force or authority.
• Overambitious- Having a strong excessive desire for success or achievement.
• Overemotional- Excessively or abnormally emotional. Sensitive about themselves and others, more so than the average person.
• Overprotective- To protect too much; coddle.
• Overconfident- Excessively confident; presumptuous.
• Overzealous- Marked by excessive enthusiasm for and intense devotion to a cause or idea.
• Pacifist- Opposition to war or violence as a means of resolving disputes. (Can double as a merit in certain cases)
• Paranoid- Exhibiting or characterized by extreme and irrational fear or distrust of others.
• Peevish- Expressing fretfulness and discontent, or unjustifiable dissatisfaction. Cantankerous, cross, ill-tempered, testy, captious, discontented, crotchety, cranky, ornery.
• Pest- One that pesters or annoys, with or without realizing it. Nuisance. Annoying. Nag.
• Pessimist- A tendency to stress the negative or unfavorable or to take the gloomiest possible view.
• Perfectionist- A propensity for being displeased with anything that is not perfect or does not meet extremely high standards.
• Phobia- They have a severe form of fear when it comes to this one thing. (Dark, Spiders, Cats, tight spaces, etc. List specific phobia.)The Phobia List.
• Practical- Level-headed, efficient, and unspeculative. No-nonsense. (can double for a merit)
• Precarious- Dependent on circumstances beyond one’s control; uncertain; unstable; insecure.
• Predictable- Easily seen through and assessable, where almost anyone can predict reactions and actions of said person by having met or known them even for a short time.
• Proud- Filled with or showing excessive self-esteem, and will often shirk help from others for the sake of pride.
• Rake- An immoral or dissolute person, acting without moral restraint, who defies established religious, social, expected precepts; a freethinker.
• Rebellious- Defying or resisting some established authority, government, or tradition; insubordinate; inclined to rebel.
• Reckless- Heedless. Headstrong. Foolhardy. Unthinking boldness, wild carelessness and disregard for consequences.
• Remorseless- Without remorse; merciless; pitiless; relentless.
• Rigorous- Rigidly accurate; allowing no deviation from a standard; demanding strict attention to rules and procedures.
• Sadist- The deriving of sexual gratification or the tendency to derive sexual gratification from inflicting pain or emotional abuse on others. Deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from cruelty.
• Sarcastic- A subtle form of mockery in which an intended meaning is conveyed obliquely.
• Sadomasochist- Both sadist and masochist combined.
• Skeptic- One who instinctively or habitually doubts, questions, or disagrees with assertions or generally accepted conclusions.
• Seducer- To lead others astray, as from duty, rectitude, or the like; corrupt. To attempt to lead or draw someone away, as from principles, faith, or allegiance.
• Senile- Showing a decline or deterioration of physical strength or mental functioning, esp. short-term memory and alertness, as a result of old age or disease.
• Scoundrel- A wicked or evil person; someone who does evil deliberately.
• Selfish- Concerned chiefly or only with oneself.
• Self-Martyr- One who purposely makes a great show of suffering in order to arouse sympathy from others, as a form of manipulation, and always for a selfish cause or reason.
• Self-righteous- Piously sure of one’s own righteousness; moralistic. Exhibiting pious self-assurance. Holier-than-thou, sanctimonious.
• Shallow- Lacking depth of intellect or knowledge; concerned only with what is obvious.
• Smart Ass- Thinks they know it all, and in some ways they may, but they can be greatly annoying and difficult to deal with at times, especially in arguments.
• Soft-hearted- Having softness or tenderness of heart that can lead them into trouble; susceptible of pity or other kindly affection. They cannot resist helping someone they see in trouble, suffering or in need, and often don’t think of the repercussions or situation before doing so.
• Solemn- Deeply earnest, serious, and sober.
• Spineless- Lacking courage. Cowardly, wimp, lily-livered, gutless.
• Spiteful- Showing malicious ill will and a desire to hurt; motivated by spite; vindictive person who will look for occasions for resentment. Vengeful.
• Spoiled- Treated with excessive indulgence and pampering from earliest childhood, and has no notion of hard work, self care or money management; coddled, pampered. Having the character or disposition harmed by pampering or over-solicitous attention.
• Stubborn- Unreasonably, often perversely unyielding; bullheaded. Firmly resolved or determined; resolute.
• Squeamish- Excessively fastidious and easily disgusted.
• Superstitious- An irrational belief arising from ignorance or fear from an irrational belief that an object, action, or circumstance not logically related to a course of events influences its outcome.
• Tactless- Lacking or showing a lack of what is fitting and considerate in dealing with others.
• Temperamental- Moody, irritable, or sensitive. Excitable, volatile, emotional.
• Temptation- They have something that tempts, entices, or allures them, that is hard to resist. This could be anything, and can drive the character to do things of ill nature.
• Theatrical- Having a flair for over dramatizing situations, doing things in a ‘big way’ and love to be ‘center stage’.
• Tongue-tied- Speechless or confused in expression, as from shyness, embarrassment, or astonishment.
• Timid-Tends to be shy and/or quiet, shrinking away from offering opinions or from strangers and newcomers, fearing confrontations and violence.
• Troublemaker- Someone who deliberately stirs up trouble, intentionally or unintentionally.
• Ugly- Very unattractive or unpleasant to look at; offensive to the sense of beauty; displeasing in appearance. Uncomely, unsightly, unlovely, homely.
• Unlucky- Marked by or causing misfortune; illfated. Destined for misfortune; doomed.
• Untrustworthy- Not worthy of trust or belief. Backstabber.
• Unpredictable- Difficult to foretell or foresee, their actions are so chaotic its impossible to know what they are going to do next.
• User- A person who uses something or someone selfishly or unethically.
• Vain- Holding or characterized by an unduly high opinion of their physical appearance. Lovers of themselves. Conceited, egotistic, narcissistic.
• Weak-willed- Lacking willpower, strength of will to carry out one’s decisions, wishes, or plans. Easily swayed.
• Withdrawn- Not friendly or Sociable. Aloof.
• Whore- Harlot. A prostitute, a person who is considered sexually promiscuous, considered as having compromised principles for personal gain.
• Zealot- An excessively zealous person; fanatic.

On Writing —The Doubt Monster

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Becoming Published, Self Doubt

Boy oh boy, do I struggle with self-doubt sometimes, especially when it is something that I really want in life, like becoming a published author of children’s books (middle grade & YA). I attended a writer’s workshop recently and listened to published science fiction author, Danielle Ackley-McPhail, wax and wane about the long and sometimes difficult road to publishing. “There are many fish in the pond now,” Danielle told us, “And if you don’t work really hard, and manage to have some luck thrown in, it’s just not going to happen.”

I already had doubts about my skills as a writer, since I’m untried and untested, but now with so many wannabe writers flooding the market, making the competition intense (getting published is like winning the lottery nowadays), I started to shrink in my seat to the size of Mrs. Potato head and felt like her too. The self-doubt monster sat on my shoulder and whispered in my ear. “You’ll never find a publisher now, who are you kidding? Do something else, this is way too hard, too much work and for what?”

Now, Danielle did offer all of us at the workshop some sage advice, such as start thinking of your writing as a hobby instead of a career, at least until you are published. That did help. A little. But self-doubt has a way of showing up no matter what affirmations I tell myself. My fear of failing is always lurking in the back of my mind, and Damn it to H-E-double toothpick, I really want to be a published writer! So I devised a plan to slay this monster for good, or keep it in chains until it breaks loose again.

Enter the DOUBT CLOSET. Every time that I feel a doubt I tell it to go into the designated closet and slam the door shut. And then I will say quietly myself or out loud (not in public places unless you want people to think you have turrets syndrome or something. Come to think of it, that actually sounds like fun, but would probably land me in a straight jacket), the exact opposite, thereby making a positive statement and slaying Mr. Doubt Monster.

Yeah, that works.

D.I.Y.

Tags

Inner Guidance, Inner Life Coach, Meditation for Answers

Lately I’ve been seeking my own counsel. Not that others can’t help me, for indeed they have and still do, but I’ve found that with an increasing work load, (Saturn is sitting on my Ascendant), I have little time left to make regular appointments with a professional counselor. Also, I need answers pronto, so what better way to get them than from myself? For example, if you want to have a better career, stop a bad habit, make a financial decision, find the right diet, or maybe pick a vacation spot—just ask your inner life coach.

Welcome to “Be Your Own Life Coach 101.” Pull up a chair and take a seat. I’m going to show you exactly how this works for me, and hopefully you’ll come away with a few tips or tricks so that you can use to access your own inner life coach (ILC).

Take a few deep breaths. Relax. Now close your eyes (only after you read this of course), you are going on a meditative journey with me as your guide. We are going to visit my inner life coach.

Imagine that you are walking down a spiral staircase made of white marble. Observe your feet as they descend the steps, taking notice of your surroundings. At the bottom of the staircase you find yourself facing a beautiful garden. Walking through the stone archway, you enter a garden, smelling all of the fragrant, blooming flowers of every kind and your favorites are carefully placed on either side of the flagstone footpath that is leading towards a house at the end of the walled garden. Water fountains and small ponds with fat gold fish are artfully placed on the lush grounds as you walk along the winding footpath.

You enter the front door of the house, a sprawling Victorian with a wrap around porch and high back rocking chairs carefully arranged on every side. Walking through the short entryway, noticing the bright colors of the oriental carpet on the gleaming hardwood floor, you follow it as it takes you down a long, wide hallway. Doors are on either side, each one different in color, shape and design. Choose the one that attracts you the most.

Step inside.

Take a seat in one of the two comfortable chairs that are facing each other. A petite woman quietly enters the room from another door on the opposite side of the cozy, sunlit and airy room. She is Asian and smiles at you lovingly. Her glasses are perched on her small nose. “How can I help you?” Your ILC says to you.

“I’d like to know what foods are best for me to eat, especially now that I’m forty-something,” you respond.

“Well, you first must cut back on all flours and sugar,” ILC says. “And you must eat less food.”

You nod your head, wondering if a low calorie pizza would taste good. Probably not.

“Also, cleansing your liver is important. Colonics would work nicely for that but also eating a vegetarian diet for a few weeks would work as well.”

You cringe thinking about all the enemas you’d have to endure. The other option sounds better.

“Drink more water too,” ILC admonishes. “You are dehydrated!”

“I can do that,” you say, thinking of all the bathroom trips you will now have to make.

“Yoga is working good for you, so do more of that and continue going to the gym. And meditate everyday as well. You need it to distress.”

“What about my diet,” you say. “What kind of food should I eat?”

ILC peers at you over her glasses. “Stay away from anything that is processed. Eat natural and organic. Raw smoothies are excellent for you as well as whole grain dishes. Some meat is OK, like turkey, chicken or fish as long as it’s organic or free range or wild caught. Eat ocean vegetables for minerals and incorporate Superfoods, into your diet.”

You take mental notes and then get up to leave.

You walk back the way you came, out the door, through the hallway, past the garden and up the winding staircase. You open your eyes.

After you’ve established a solid connection with your ILC, you won’t have to go into a meditation like the one I just shared with you all of the time and will only have to ask a question in your mind and the answer will come from your ILC instantly.

You can use your own ILC for anything that you need help with. It’s a great way to get answers and helps boost your confidence by learning to trust your own guidance.

Now where’s that pizza?

Animal Symbolism Series—Butterfly

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2012, Animal Symbolism, Butterfly, Transformation

Whenever I decide to begin a post for my Animal Symbolism series, I don’t always know what animal I want to write about, just that I have the urge. And it never fails that the animal wanting an audience makes itself known to me, as if by magic, a day or two or three before I actually sit down to write.

So I waited for a sign and later that same day a leaf blew across the grass in such an odd way that it caught my attention. It looked just like a butterfly.

“Ah hah,” I thought to myself. “Could this be the one?”

To reinforce the message sent by the Animal Gods, I began seeing commercials for butterflies. I even overheard two conversations in passing about them. The coup de gras happened on my way to B&N to write this post. En route to the bookstore, I stopped at Kmart to get a few things and while I waited in line to purchase my goodies, I looked up, and there, sitting in a mason jar was a mechanical butterfly. With a wide grin on my face, I pushed the little black button on the bottom of the jar and watched it flap its tiny blue wings, delighting the kid in the cart next to me.

So what does it mean when you see a butterfly? Some part of your life is in need of a change. Similar to the life cycle of a butterfly, from egg to the caterpillar, then the chrysalis to the butterfly, metamorphosis is the name of the game. Your life will transform in some way. Seeing a caterpillar morph into a butterfly shows us that if we have the courage, we can remake our lives into something more beautiful, whether it be in our career, relationships or our Sacred Self.

As I write this on the eve of 2012, I can think of no better symbol for this planet or for humanity. Collectively, we are literally passing through an evolutionary moment in time.

Biologist Dr. Bruce Lipton wrote a fascinating book, Spontaneous Evolution, and in it he talks about the power of collective thinking. He worked extensively with cells, and what he discovered was that when he changed their environment, it wasn’t the gene that controlled the fate of the cells, it was the environment.

When we transform our way of thinking to a more positive and loving state, we become healthy. Dr. Bruce gives examples of how the same is true for us, in that we cannot change if all the cells (us) are focused on fighting each other and seeing everyone as being separate from your own Self. Dr. Bruce says that we are the imaginal cells in human consciousness evolution. These same imaginal cells are what enable a caterpillar to transform into a butterfly. That’s us folks!

May the year 2012 be the most beautiful and transformative year for everyone.

Blessings,
Shelley

On Writing—The Faeries Can Stay

Tags

Faeries, Writing Craft

I believe in faeries. I always have. They really do exist, but not in our dimension. They live in the fourth dimension, the one right above ours, vibrating at a higher frequency, which is beyond our five senses and is the reason why very few of us can see them. I have never seen one myself but I know of two people personally that did. I can sense when they are around though, especially in the woods. I will suddenly get the feeling that something is near, and then turn to look, finding an unspoiled patch of greenery or a tangle of bracken and bramble, artfully designed by the Green Race. I just KNOW they are there, probably dancing around me with delight, holding their sides in laughter (they do love to play pranks).

There have been numerous accounts of people actually seeing, speaking and working with faeries. The Elves of Lilly Hill Farm is an excellent book for those who have an interest in this topic or you might want to look up the Findhorn Garden (very cool stuff). Faeries, elves and the elementals help the earth in numerous ways and are responsible for maintaining the health and welfare of the plant kingdom as well as animals.

My novel, Oghalon Chronicles (working title) is a fantasy in which twins are caught up in a tale of magic, betrayal and intrigue. The eleven-year old protagonist ends up in an alternate reality—the Faery kingdom, but with my own brand of twist, of course. It has to be unique in some way or what publisher will want to hand me a contract? I’m in the latter stages of the rewriting phase now, but along the way I’ve discovered that I get easily distracted or influenced by the outside world.

For instance, I had long ago decided to make elves and the faery folk a main fixture in my story, but with some recent articles that I read about making stories unique, I decided to change my elves into another race with loopy ears. I even came up with a new name for the race and had taken out all references with elves from the entire story. I thought that I was being quite clever indeed but I ended up sailing right into a fog. By doing this one thing my story started falling apart but I didn’t want to admit it at first. The truth was that my plot no longer had a taproot buried deep in the earth, and because of that, I no longer felt grounded. I had lost touch with my story, my muse, the very reason for telling it in the first place.

It was my son that had gotten me out of the fog that I was swimming in and back on terra firma. I had asked him if he thought that elves were old news. He didn’t think so, and then he said. “Mom, how many books on vampires are out there? People keep buying them and writers keep writing them.”

True that. I thought the genre would have died after Ann Rice penned Interview with a Vampire (one of the best books on vampires ever written). Not so. In fact, a small cottage industry has risen up around vampires. Look at all of the YA novels, movies, and fans that are immersed in the blood hungry critters.

LESSON #528: I had listened to other people’s opinions and allowed that to influence my story when it wasn’t even finished yet. I won’t be doing that again! Lesson learned. The faeries are here to stay.

The Art Table—Graphite

Tags

Graphite, Illustration, Swan

I’ve been working on different illustration ideas for my book, The Oghalon Chronicles, for the past year, and my medium of choice was graphite. I love the feel of the pencil in my trained hand, as it glides across the smooth surface of the paper. My paper of choice for this project was bristol board, which has a very smooth surface. I still like some tooth, just enough to give it a textural feel, and bristol board fits the bill nicely. For lead weights in my pencils, I tend to use 2B, 3B and 6B because they add the dark values quickly. I do like the H leads when I need a hard edge, or to layout a sketch, but tend to stick with the B’s the most.

This particular drawing, the swan, is going to be part of my title page for every chapter (there is also another P.O.V. character, in which a bear will be part of the title page). I’m still working on an embellishment that will sit in between two identical swans, but once that is completed, I will post a layout of what an example title chapter page will look like.

I had originally created a swan with a crown, but I wasn’t happy with the results. It was too static and quite frankly, very ho, hum. I wanted the swan to have some human qualities because my protagonist, Hayley changes into one.

The way that I accomplished this was to show movement with the body and by making the feathers wispy and dramatic. Also, I replaced the swan’s eyes with the characters eyes (this is true in the story). For the final touch I lifted the foot, as if she were dancing. Swan feet, I discovered are not the daintiest of feet, so I used a little Illustrator magic. All in all, I’m pretty happy with the results.

What do you think?

Animal Symbolism Series—Sparrow

Tags

99%, Animal Symbolism, Occupy Movement, Sparrow

Sparrows like to frequent my bird feeder often, voraciously eating the seeds like a bird twice its size. It’s a common bird, the Sparrow, and not as pretty as a Cardinal or an Indigo Blue Bunting (my favorite), but like every animal on this planet, each has its gifts to share with us. And don’t let the size of this feisty little brown bird fool you either, for it is a survivor, and according to Animal Symbolist, Ted Andrews*, it symbolizes the awakening and triumph of the common nobility.

Sparrow has come to symbolize humanity for me and whenever I see a few of them gathered around my bird feeder, I am reminded of the great changes that are taking place on our lovely blue planet, changes that are cooking nicely in the alchemical cauldron, and will continue to do so at an accelerated rate. Humanity, the common folk, is about to experience a new level of freedom, a freedom that has never been experienced before, except by a few Mystics.

The natives are restless.

Just read the news and you’ll notice that something big is brewing. I believe that people are starting to awaken to their own power and their own inherent nobility. Just watching the Arab Spring take hold in the Middle East this spring and summer, and our own country’s Occupy Movement (99% vs. 1%) take root this fall, has given me all the proof that I need.

Sparrow also represents assertiveness and the will to survive, as well as community and dignity. If a sparrow shows up in your life, you may want to ask yourself if you have misplaced your self-worth? Is there a tyrant in the midst, threatening to weaken your self esteem? Open up your heart instead, remembering that you are a human being, noble and deserving of dignity, and respect, then stand up to any type of tyrannical behavior in your life or the world at large.

As humanity rapidly awakens to the truth of who they are, I am reminded of a prophetic dream that I had a few years ago, which made it clear to me that humanity would rise up, refusing to be shackled and enslaved by the power elite (1%) any longer. This was the signal that I had been waiting for, the one that would herald the end of the dark Ones rule (mostly hidden) on our planet, a rule that has lasted for millenia (If you are interested in learning more, visit this site The (OCCUPY) 2012 Scenario).

Here is the dream.

I AM STANDING IN A FIELD with about thirty children. They stop playing suddenly, throw up their hands, and release sparrows into the air. I watch the birds as they form a circle above me, and inside of their circle formation, four wolves appear, glowing with ethereal light.

One of the children, a blonde girl, smiles at me, then takes my hand. She pulls me towards a tree, gesturing that I go with her. She points to the ground by the roots of the tree, and there, sitting in a pool of thick mud is a creature not of this earth. A demon like reptile, much like a giant toad with armor, looks at me menacingly with it’s snake-like eye (it only had one) in the center of its hideous head. What strikes me right away is that this creature is extremely powerful, ancient and evil. I could feel its malice towards me, wanting to kill me on the spot. I also know, telepathically that it wanted the freedom to roam the Earth, to dominate it, but it could not leave its hellish mud hole. It was waiting for the right frequency, one of a lower vibration that would allow it to leave. (War will do that to people and the Earth, lower its frequency. It is the worst thing that can happen as it allows darkness to flourish in all of its guises).

I then hurry to find my friend, Lisa, who is nearby and take her to see this demon-like creature, but when we return to the tree, the evil toad had disappeared. The muddy hole is now covered with a large piece of strange metal, similar to copper, and three inches thick. Over top of the surface are strange runes that appear to be alien. The word Galactic comes to my mind.

It wasn’t until the end of this year that I began to see the symbols of this dream start to manifest in the material world. Sparrow is the triumph and awakening of humanity (99% vs. 1%). The Wolves symbolize spiritual help in finding pathways that will dismantle the dark Ones, and the number four represents the four directions, a sacred element in Native American Indian teachings. The children in the dream are all of us, reclaiming our self worth, dignity and trust in the New Earth that we are on the cusp of building. The demonic toad could be many things really, the symbol for tyranny, the power elite, or the dark Ones (Illuminati), and the metal covering with runes, I see the connection to the Annukai, the off-planetary reptilian agenda that has been hidden from most of us here on earth. This and many other shocking truths will be revealed when Disclosure takes place.

Sparrow is a very powerful little bird indeed, and one day will morph into the new David that slays Goliath.

*TED ANDREWS, Animal-Speak: The Spiritual & Magical Powers of Creatures Great & Small

Three Critters

Tags

Animal Symbolism, Cicada, hornet, raccoon, synchronicity

Time for a break, I thought, after four hours of sitting at my desk and staring at the computer, diligently working on the company catalog. Boring. Well, not that boring, but I’ve been doing it for six years so it’s getting kind of old. Luckily, the office is located in a wooded area and offers much in terms of wildlife to observe and enjoy. On my stroll around the building, I paused, watching a really big hornet (a three-inch mega one) fly over a puddle, hovering for a few seconds, then drop itself into the water. Dumb hornet, you’re drowning yourself for no reason at all!

But it didn’t drown. It started swimming instead, using its wings as propellers, pushing itself across the puddle until it found some land underneath of it’s six exoskeleton legs with which to pull itself out, and then fly to a nearby pine tree to dry off. Hornets can be angry and vicious critters, so I kept my distance but also took note to curb my own anger, which had been brewing due to the many demands that are being placed on me (although, many of them, I am placing there myself).

I decided to hang out by an area in the back of the building that is sheltered by trees, bracken and bramble (love to use those last two words, since it conjures up the image of walking through the faery-laced woods somewhere in Scotland, on a cold, crisp day, with billowing grey clouds threatening rain, and then hurrying along on the footpath to have that spot of tea with some biscuits in some cozy cottage).

Something small and black flew above me, landing on a tree branch nearby. Crash is more like it. Oh, look, it’s a Cicada! I rarely get to see them flying. I usually just hear them ‘chirp’ away in the summer, or find a dead one on the road, probably killed by a big hornet, just like the one that I saw earlier. “Hey Mr. Cicada,” I said out loud. “Mr. Nasty Hornet is flying around, so you better get the heck out of here.” Suddenly, it leaps onto another branch, and then clings on for dear life, as if it doesn’t know how to use its wings at all, or finds them cumbersome and strange. Maybe it just hatched and was out for a test flight? It might be dead by morning if the Hornet gets him, poor thing.

Cicada, Cicada, what message are you trying to relay to me now? Are some old friends popping in my life again? I suspect that is the case and ponder over this some more, wondering how to juggle all of my responsibilities, social life and long-term goals, goals that must be achieved, as they are my dream. Not an easy task. I hear a soft noise in the thick of trees to the right of me, and turn, searching for the source of the sound. A Raccoon? Yes, a Raccoon, and a young one too, ambling through the pine needles, sniffing the ground with its black nose. I rarely see them either.

Okay, so what’s going on here? Let’s see, Raccoon is a caretaker and often shows up for a friend of mine who does too much for others, leaving herself last on the list, therefore causing her self a myriad of problems, problems that I don’t want. Also, I cannot be anyone’s life raft, and I see that happening to me in various degrees.

So, obviously, I’m doing too much (Raccoon), and need to cut back on my social time (Cicada), so that I have time to pursue my important goals, therefore avoiding the anger (Hornet) that is brewing, which can be quite unpleasant if I let out (I tend to overreact or get passive-aggressive), though I rarely do that anymore, but if I keep it all inside, it will cause me other problems, like worry, depression and bad health. The cure? Do all of the above, plus take a vacation pronto, and don’t forget to take two aspirin and call myself in the morning.

Animal Symbolism Series—Mourning Dove

Tags

Dove symbolism, Mourning Dove symbolism

Sitting quietly on the floor, I closed my eyes and tried to imagine what it was like to be God (the one ruling this Universe). Honestly, I just wanted to feel her love for me—a warm, golden-pink light that I could breath in slowly, letting it fill all of my cells so that it would transport me to another place, one of great beauty and joy. I needed that kind of love. The world outside of my 900 square foot abode that I call home is crazy! There is too much death, violence, anger and drudgery in that world.

We were not meant to live that way. I know it deep in my bones and suspect that many others feel the same. I longed for a peaceful, loving, abundance-filled world—The Golden Age. But it’s not here. Yet. I breathed again, imagining that same golden-pink light coursed through my organs this time and had the thought or realization that God loves God. How can she not love her SELF? And if I am God, then I have to love my SELF, even if my Ego refuses to listen to that blatant crockery of a slick infomercial. I still wear deodorant, don’t finish projects, work at a dead end job, drive an old car, have crooked teeth, and use the toilet. What God does that? You’re not a God, Shelley. Get over yourself already.

Yet, if God is Love, than I am Love. God loves God. God loves me because I am God. And when I meet God, I am meeting my SELF—I am meeting Love. I have come home. It is that same deep Love of SELF that will raise your frequency. And when your raise your vibration or frequency, you will experience more of God—more Love.

Damn the Ego, I want Love.

I sighed, then heard a Mourning Dove coo as it flew by my open window. I smiled. Mourning Dove is my given name and means, Spiritual Messenger. The message was clear today.

Meditation: Praying Mantis, Partis Deux

I woke up feeling rather crappy. It was Friday, after all, and I’d been burning the candle at both ends all week, juggling work, home, bank, college (looking into taking a class), friends, both online, and live, breathing ones, my graduate-school-bound son (who just got a cold), my very demanding cat (I do love her, really I do, sans the barf-balls she leaves all over the house), the novel that I’m writing, plus all of the other wonderful creative ideas that are bombarding me right now but can’t get to. I need a cloning device please.

The timely visitor, hanging out at my window

No wonder I was feeling like doggy-doo! I didn’t want to accept the fact that I couldn’t run on a hamster wheel without rest (hamster brain, hamster brain … I did have a hamster once, Scooter was his name, and I’m proud to say that he lived for 4 years), but the body has a way of telling you to stop, as it did with me today. So I plunked down onto the floor, near the ottoman and grabbed my aqua blue bowl filled with crystals, intending to do a meditation when I spotted a Praying Mantis hanging on my window screen above my herb garden outside my front door. I knew instantly what the message was; time to slow down and meditate. Praying Mantis is the quintessential symbol for moving into stillness, quieting the mind and letting go of the external world.

Meditation, when I do it regularly, has been a great “chill pill” for me. I can actually feel the difference in my body afterwards, the energy coursing through my meridians and chakras, making me feel whole again. It’s a wonderful way to stay grounded, focused and calm throughout the day. There was a study done recently that proved regular meditation kept the brain healthy and young. That’s great news, because I don’t want to get old (that’s an interesting topic I will address on my blog in the near future), or at least slow down the aging process or dare I say, halt it altogether, which I do believe is possible, especially as the frequencies increase on the planet and prepare us for Ascension, which is taking us into the 5th Dimension (that’s another long topic that is quite real but if you want in-depth articles about same and more, visit 2012 Scenario).

My cat meowing at me, after I scolded her for scaring the Praying Mantis up the window.

Grabbing a few crystals from my bowl, I settled into my lotus pose, preparing for meditation. Closing my eyes, I took three deep breaths, focusing on my first chakra at the base of my spine. I imagined a root coming out of it and moving down to the crystal core of the Earth, then bringing up the energy of the earth to my first chakra (this is how I ground). I then imagined myself connected to the New Earth Grid and timeline, the alternate reality I want to be on (love, peace, abundance, joy), then began seeing a reverse spiral of energy like a tornado, going around me counter clockwise (clockwise is the death spiral and keeps you locked in the 3D of duality, lack, suffering and death. Counter clockwise is the opposite). Taking a deep breath, I exhaled, sending the spiral up to the 12th dimension, which is filled with golden light, untouched by negativity, and where your Monad (highest self) resides. I did this by counting in my head up to the number 12. Once there, I inhaled, imagining that I was bringing that same golden light, in the form of a golden ball, down the spiral and into the top of my head. I took another deep breath and brought it to my heart, expanding it next into all of the cells in my body, then finally out into my auric shield, sealing up any tears, holes, or weaknesses. (Your aura is your protective shield of energy, similar to a ball of light around your body and when it’s been weakened by illness, trauma, loss, etc., negativity in many forms can enter and cause all sorts of problems).

I then brought the golden ball to my first chakra, seeing it being healed and recharged. Then, I exhaled quickly, envisioning all of the junk and negativity leaving that chakra. I did the same thing, by moving the golden, healing ball of light to my other 6 chakras, expelling all the negativity. When I was finished, I brought the spiral back down and relaxed, sitting quietly. This meditation is great for chakra clearing, grounding, and keeping one’s connection to your higher self, as well as keeping your vibration high, and on a positive time line.

Whenever I see a Praying Mantis, I will remember to connect to the stillness within. He is a great reminder.